Zoom Face

Sketch a day - day 56/365

A day of being inside all day.

Partly because I had to do a lot of prep for a zoom and then be on a zoom.

Partly because the front door broke and I couldn't get out until Jane got home.

Partly because during the hour or so that I could have got outside to take a walk (before the door broke), I ended up doom scrolling assorted reports about the dire shit happening in the world right now.

Never good, but I was proud of myself that I didn't end up entirely losing the day.

I am getting better at noticing when these moments are happening and gently bringing myself back to ‘what do I have the power to change’ thinking.

And also remembering that when I say I am worried about‘the world” to myself that ‘the world’ can feel like a place that is very far away and which I have no bearing upon.

But

I am (in a very small way) a part of the world. And I can make small changes around the stuff that I am doing.

And remembering this simple thing helps.

What can a mad cat lady do today?

Quite a lot more than might be expected.

Really, we mad cat ladies are everywhere.

And we are made up of so much possibility.

Especially when we remember that so many folks, busy practicing their nazi salutes in the mirror and their obliging nods of obeyence in advance, seem so tied up with themselves that they may perhaps forget to remember that we are not who they think we are.

I mean, what might we do?

Just imagine the things that we might get up to?

Under our mad hats full of cats?

And these thoughts make me smile and bring me back to myself and the day and what is at hand and what must be imagined.

Because we must keep on daring to imagine.

With all of our brains and all of our hearts.

I was reminded of this today as I read part of a zine that a writing squad writer I am in correspondence with (such a fab job I get to do) sent me.

“Using our imaginations to create worlds where there is justice and liberation is an act of resistance”

Thank you Mack and all at the Speculative Climate Futures zine workshop folks including Ansh Meeta, Francesca DiGiorgio, Jim Kaufman, Shevek Fodor and Sophie Buxton -for your inspiring words❤️.

Anyway. After my mini wobble. I was back on track and did lots of useful imaginings and things with my day.

But I was inside inside inside.

So, tonight, I was feeling at a loss as to what to draw.

Close followers of this blog will know by now that this usually leads to a drawing of pens or a drawing of my own face.

I decided to go for my own face.

A funny thing happened though.

I did a warm up drawing first and then I did the drawing proper. And when I looked at the warm up and then the finished drawing…

It struck me that the first sketch was a self portrait of how I feel inside today. The struggle and the joy and the imaginings of justice and liberation can be clearly seen.

And the second one is me trying to look like a functioning, adult human being.

And I like that I am both.

Because we are all many, many things, all at the same time.

And that is one of our super powers.

In case that might be useful for you to remember today.

And that is the news.